Welcome to Top Self

Episodes

Aug. 8, 2023

How to Stop Wondering About the Past and Worrying About the Future EP 41

As someone who has personally experienced the crippling effects of anxiety and insecurities, I'm sharing the importance of being present and in the N.O.W. and how to avoid being caught up with past wondering or worrying about the future. It's crucial to remember that you have the power to break free from fear-driven patterns. I am excited to discuss my journey of self-awareness that led me to stop letting the past hijack my present and the changes I initiated that altered my future. In this ep...
July 25, 2023

Controlling and Judging Without Mercy EP 40

It's time to stop judging without mercy and stop trying to control unpredictable events. Reflecting on the "Adult Children of Alcoholics" (ACA) list was a turning point, a moment that brought me a lot of clarity and started me on my self-development journey. Drawing from my personal experiences, I'm sharing one of the 14 common behavior characteristics from the ACA Laundry List and the recent epiphany I had that is tied to it for anyone who grew up in a similar dysfunctional environment as I d...
July 18, 2023

Why You Stir Sh*t Up In Your Relationship EP 39

Do you know you might even be controlling when you argue with your partner? I know it may seem hard to believe because your first thought is probably... I hate arguing with my partner. I hate to say it, but as much as you hate it, you may be the huffing and puffing and blowing the house up just as things are going really well. If you grew up in a dysfunctional environment like I did, where every day there was drama, fighting or wondering when the next big thing is going to happen, you might be...
July 11, 2023

Why You Feel So Out of Control w/ Dr. Catherine Pittman EP: 38

You know when you feel like you can't control your actions? Your in a massive jealous rant and it seems like some one or some thing has taken over your body. You're saying things and doing things on autopilot as if you cant help what's happening. Shanenn sits down with Dr. Catherine Pittman, author of Rewire Your Anxious Brain, Taming Your Amygdala, and Rewire Your OCD Brain to uncover why this happening and you might be right, you don't have control over it. But, the great news is, she gives ...
July 4, 2023

Overcoming Jealousy with a New Prospective EP 37

Sometimes to get out of a rut, you have to shake things up a bit and changing your perspective on the way you think and communicate about your jealousy might be just what you need. In this episode, Shanenn discusses 3 different areas you could shake things up as it pertains to jealousy. Reframe your approach in both your communication to your partner and your thoughts about how big it is and acknowledge that jealousy may always be present in you to some degree, so you will start by just focusi...
June 27, 2023

Shedding the Shame and Embracing Powerful Emotions w/ Joli Hamilton EP 36

Dr. Joli Hamilton, a relationship coach and research psychologist, known for her expertise in the field of jealousy joins the show today. Her research explores the archetypal nature of emotions and their purpose, with a focus on jealousy in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. If you still feel embarrassed about your jealousy or continuously ask yourself "Is this normal or is this my jealousy?" then today's episode will mot likely hit the spot. Dr. Hamilton and Shanenn discuss:...
June 20, 2023

4 Steps to Change and Transformation EP 35

Today's episode is all about change and I have an exciting announcement of changes coming to the podcast for you. In this episode, I talk about the topic of change and its role in personal growth and transformation. Since your brain is wired for comfort, change can be both fearful and uncomfortable, as it often requires letting go of familiarity. We have a strong desire for certainty which can keep us stuck and afraid to embrace change. Stick through this episode to hear the exciting changes ...
June 13, 2023

Why You Feel The Way You Feel w/ Reneau Peurifoy EP 34

This episode discusses emotions and Why You Feel The Way You Do. One of the many books written by Reneau Peurifoy
May 30, 2023

Stop These 5 Lies and Prioritize the Truth EP 33

You are so consumed with trying to figure out if your partner is telling you the truth, you are ignoring the lies you're saying about your partner and to yourself. Self-awareness is the key to growth so if you want transformation, if you want to make changes to your life, you have to become more aware of your habits. Unfortunately, your habits possibly 5 lies I see jealousy junkie tell themselves all the time. In this episode I will: Discusses the importance of being mindful of the lies we t...
May 16, 2023

Ashamed of Yourself EP 32

Are you embarrassed and ashamed of where you came from? Where you grew up? How you grew up? I certainly was and for most of my life I lead with that shame. it made me think everyone was better than me. I made me feel that I couldn't ever be more than I was. You may feel that way too and some of it may feel like its coming true. Maybe you're having a hard time getting a better paying job or you think your dream home is just that... will always be a dream or you just feel bad about the WAY YOU F...
April 24, 2023

31: Dump the Junk - Special Episode

Have you joined the Dump the Junk Program yet? What are you waiting for? The doors are closing VERY soon. Today's episode is so exciting for me because not only did I get to interview two women who are listeners of this podcast, but they were beta testers for me for the Dump the Junk Program. Most importantly though, after spending 6 weeks with them going through the program, they have a very special place in my heart. Hear the struggles they've gone through in their relationship, what their ...
April 11, 2023

30: Small Thoughts Need Big Muscles

When it comes to jealousy and our insecurities, oftentimes, the first thought your brain serves up to you in wrong. It's a default thought. One your brain has been serving up to you for years. So long in fact, you consider it to be law, to be 100% factual when in reality, it may not be. Our initial thoughts tend to be smaller, weaker thoughts that could use a little help from time to time. An important skilled that can be learned through consistent practice is questioning your initial thought ...
March 28, 2023

29: The Magic of Surrender w/ Kute Blackson

He's been on the Larry King Now show, Dr. Drew, Fox and Friends and now the Jealousy Junkie podcast! This episode's guest is transformational speaker and best selling author, Kute Blackson and he's here to help you understand and move closer to the magic of surrender. As jealousy junkies, we have a strong feeling to control. Control our environment, and our partner's environment in an attempt to protect ourselves. As you'll hear from Kute, when we control, we actually give up our power. We fe...
Guest: Kute Blackson
March 21, 2023

28: Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Is the attractive person sitting next to your partner at the dinner table a tiger? No, of course not. But yet, you respond with fight or flight mode as if it's life or death. You hate being uncomfortable and probably have never learned or practiced how to sit with uncomfortable. When you feel jealous, you want that feeling to go away as quickly as possible, and by any means possible, often leaving your partner and anyone around with the uncomfortableness of your actions as you try to relieve y...
March 7, 2023

27: Jealousy Is Just A Part Of You

Our obsessions seem so magnified, so big and out of control and we let that become "who" and "what" we think we are. Because we're so focused on our jealousy, we begin to believe it's the only thing we bring to a relationship; insecurity and jealousy. Have you ever considered accepting that jealousy and knowing that it's just a part of you. It's not all of you. I even guide you to pick the jealous part of you. I along with many others will be a guest speaker at the Healing Family Trauma FREE...
Feb. 28, 2023

26: Retroactive Jealousy w/ Zachary Stockill

Have you ever been more curious than you should be about your partner’s past lovers? Where one question about their past turned into five, which turned into ten, then felt that very uncomfortable pang of jealousy? This type of jealousy is called retroactive jealousy. One of the more insidious types of jealousy because it is referring to the past, which no one can undo. Retroactive jealousy can not only ruin an otherwise healthy relationship, it can also be detrimental to your mental health goin...
Feb. 21, 2023

25: Why Cant You Absorb a Compliment

Did you know you're being rude when you shrug off a compliment? After blowing off a compliment my husband gave me, he asked "Why can't you just absorb a compliment"? That made me wonder... why can't I? What's behind that? What I learned was much more than I expected and realized we're actually being rude when we don't respond appropriately to a compliment. I also have a challenge for you and give you some science behind why it's hard to give compliments and why you should practice absorbing a...
Feb. 14, 2023

24: Lessons Learned From My Costa Rican Jealous Meltdown

Recently, my husband and I traveled to Costa Rica for a conference. We stayed in a beautiful hotel overlooking the beach and had a ton of fun experiences BUT day 4 would send me into a tailspin I haven't been in for a very, very long time. In today's episode, I'm sharing lessons learned and why my mini meltdown is important to you. For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group ...
Jan. 17, 2023

23: Why Dysfunctional Can Feel Comfortable

You learn so much in childhood. How to walk, how to talk, how to do multiplication and division. Unfortuantely, for some though, you also learn to be fearful, to not trust. We learn not to get too happy because any minute, the other shoe will fall. Today's guest, Reneau Peurifoy, author of 4 different books on anxiety, anger, and emotions, shares his knowledge from over 20 years as an MFT working with anxiety and other related disorders, shares why although not healthy, dysfunction can feel re...
Jan. 3, 2023

22: The Chemical Mark of Trauma w/ Dr. Galit Atlas

Trauma leaves a chemical mark on a persons genes that is passed down to the next generation according to today's guest Dr. Galit Atlas. It's about family secrets and the secrets we keep from ourselves that also keep us from living to our full potential. Dr. Atlas is a psychoanalyst exploring the unconscious of her patients and shares how the emotional inheritance and the legacy of trauma is passed down from generation to generation in her book titled Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Pa...
Dec. 20, 2022

21: 5 Statements You Should Stop Making To Your Partner

In today's quick dump episode, I share 5 statements I decided to stop making to my partner that changed the dynamic of our relationship. Most of the time, you don't even realize how the words you choose can come across. Even when you feel like you're being really clear or you mean what you're saying in the moment, these 5 statements are usually a signal to disaster. For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out Jealo...
Dec. 6, 2022

20: Trauma: A Normal Response To An Abnormal Situation w/ Candace Alley

Did you know that toxic stress decreases the size and impairs the function of different regions of the brain that are actually responsible for our learning, our executive functioning, our memory ? Candace Alley, a five time internationally certified coach and the founder and CEO of Trauma Resource Network shares that: trauma is not a particular event, but rather how the brain processes that event every persons healing journey is as individual and unique as your fingerprints trauma doe...
Guest: Candace Alley
Nov. 29, 2022

19: Three Things That Slow Your Progress Of Overcoming Jealousy

One of the reasons it took me so long to overcome my jealousy is because I kept getting stuck or there would be long periods of time I wasn't working to improve it. I started to notice a pattern of these times and today I am sharing 3 things that could be slowing down your progress of becoming more confident and overcoming jealousy in your relationship. Here are the 3 a makeup a breakup a hiccup but I dive deep into each one and give you some examples I experienced so you know what to look...
Nov. 22, 2022

18: How Stress Ramps Up Your Jealous Brain w/ Dr. Cindi Ackrill

Did you know when your brain is operating under duress, all of the "parts" are not coordinating which can ramp up your jealous mind. Our brains have a negative bias because it wants to save us. It wants to keep us safe from danger. But overload causes the brain to get out of symphony. Leader in the field of stress mastery, Dr. Cindi Ackrill shares what stress and comparison does to your brain and the intersection between how grounded you are and when you start to compare. Cindi also shares: ...