Unhealthy Thought Patterns And How To Spot Them w/ Amy Kemp EP 112

Shanenn Bryant: Welcome back to Top Self. My name is Shanenn Bryant and today I have the owner and CEO of Amy Kemp, Inc. Amy Kemp is here to talk to us one. You have a book, which I love the title. I see you. I have that, that line on my website actually too. So, I love the title of your book. I see you: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More and Be More. Welcome, Amy.

[00:01:25] Amy Kemp: Thank you so much, Shanenn. I have to tell you the title of my book was, I had to kind of advocate for it pretty strongly.

[00:01:36] Shanenn Bryant: Mm. Yeah. Because they always want to tell you what to title it, right?

[00:01:39] Amy Kemp: Yeah, They had my best interest at heart, but I really felt strongly that this book was not about me. I wanted it positioned as such, and so it was important to me. It was the only thing I really held my ground on that I felt that strongly about. So yes,

[00:02:00] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, I'm so glad. Yes. I'm so glad you did. I love it. Um, so you talk about master or the importance of mastering thought habits, which here on this podcast, we tend to let our thoughts spiral out of control. The listener of this podcast, we can really go down the rabbit hole. All we all can, right? Um, so I want to talk to you about some of the habits I think that we have.

[00:02:29] Sometimes they're easy to identify, but then there are those ones and usually the ones that trip us up that might be a little bit harder to do.

[00:02:39] Amy Kemp: Mm-hmm.

[00:02:40] Shanenn Bryant: So how do we find those habits that might be causing a lot of issues that we're just unaware of?

[00:02:47] Amy Kemp: Yeah, actually most of our thinking happens below the surface at the subconscious level. So about 80% of our thoughts happen, uh, that we are unaware of. while we are not our thoughts, I think that's probably the most important distinction that I make with people on a daily basis, is that. your thoughts are impacting you. Yes, they are showing up in places sometimes where we wish they wouldn't. That's not you. Those are just your thoughts, and you always can change your thoughts. That being said, at the subconscious level, if you're not even aware of them, it's difficult to make the change. And so, the work that I do focuses on habits that help you replace those. Unhealthy subconscious habits of thinking with ones that will serve you better, uh, so that you can just trust your instincts, trust your default, trust your intuition more fully, and, um, save the energy of having to make a conscious choice about a new pattern of thinking. That's the goal is to kind of get those good, healthy habits at the subconscious level Also.

[00:04:04] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah, because I think it gets really hard for us to not believe our thoughts or not believe what you said, that that is me. Because those are the thoughts that I'm having. So, I'm convincing myself I'm not smart enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not, you know, we're the, all of those negative thoughts and I can easily convince myself that those thoughts are true.

[00:04:27] Amy Kemp: Absolutely those habits of thinking. I use a, an assessment tool. the Habit Finder, which measures these habits of thinking and those fall into the category that's titled Self-Worth. These Habits of Thinking want to assign value to us based on external things, appearance, performance, uh, you know, how good of a parent we are, how many widgets we sold,

[00:04:57] Shanenn Bryant: Right.

[00:04:57] Amy Kemp: want to put. Value on extrinsic things, so things outside of us instead of just saying, I am, therefore I am valuable.

[00:05:09] Shanenn Bryant: It is so hard because we see it all the time. I mean, and we're measured by a lot of that. Right. Though. I mean, on magazine covers you usually see very. Thin, attractive women at work. We have KPIs and we're being bonused on our performance. And I mean, it's everywhere where we're, these are measurements in society for us, so how do we separate that?

[00:05:35] Amy Kemp: so good. A lot of healing. I wish I could tell you there was a shortcut. Um, I wish I could tell you the work I did was fast, but it's actually very slow and incremental. I think one thing, a good illustration that I use a lot with clients, and I teach a lot, and I talk about a lot, is that if you can imagine. Your hands say the word value on one. Like the word value is written on your right hand, on the palm of your right hand, and you're holding it up. And then performance is written on the left hand.

[00:06:15] Shanenn Bryant: Mm

[00:06:15] Amy Kemp: if you can, these two things, if your feeling of value is attached to your performance, it's, it's like your hands are crossed in kind of a prayer position.

[00:06:26] And when they're clasping each other. You can't get your hands into the clay of your life and create, you can't build the thing that you are here to do or, um, supposed to do because when these things are connected, your hands are essentially tied, and you can't create. And so, the separation of, yeah, those things are being measured. They are important in that lane in terms of you're going to give me this in exchange for it. That's totally separate from my value as 

And that separation, um, is very important. When you separate those two things, you start to be able to play around and create and do things, that will astonish even you.

[00:07:17] Shanenn Bryant: Uh, that's so good because yes, it's always, we feel like it's tied to that performance. Like, how well am I doing at this? How well am I doing at relationships? How well am I doing at my job? How well am I doing at being a parent?

[00:07:30] Amy Kemp: Yes.

[00:07:32] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:07:32] Amy Kemp: There's a really interesting study that they did. They asked groups of people, um, to create the most beautiful pot that they could, pottery like with clay, right? And one group, they said, we want you to create the perfect pot. And the second group, they said, we just want you to create as many pots as you can, just as many as you can. And in the end, the group that they said. Just create as many as you can. Came out with a much higher quality product than the ones that were trying to create a perfect pot.

[00:08:06] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:08:07] Amy Kemp: There's something about approaching your work, your life, your relationships, like we do, um, like, like a little child would do, playing with blocks.

[00:08:18] You know, they're building, building, building. If it falls over, they say, oh, it fell over. I must not put the blue blocks on the bottom. I should try the green instead. You know, but

[00:08:28] Shanenn Bryant: Hmm.

[00:08:29] Amy Kemp: Oh, I'm a terrible block builder.

[00:08:32] Shanenn Bryant: Right, right.

[00:08:33] Amy Kemp: to themselves based on that performance. They just say, oh, okay, well that fell. That didn't work. Well, I better try something different. Really important distinction. The more we can play like that with our work and with things outside of us, the more successful we'll be in the long run. We'll, we'll create a prettier pot in the end.

[00:08:53] Shanenn Bryant: Right. Yeah. And I, you know, a lot of us take a lot of time trying to be perfect to fit that perfect mold that we really are never going to achieve. What does perfection look like? You know, and then when we hit it, what, what is the next thing that we're trying to be perfect at?

[00:09:12] Amy Kemp: yes. um, in relationships perfect is impossible.

[00:09:18] Shanenn Bryant: Right. Yeah. I don't know anyone. If you have the perfect relationship, please email me.

[00:09:25] Amy Kemp: Uh

[00:09:26] Shanenn Bryant: I'd love to talk to you. Yeah. Yeah. So hard. Well, thank you for sharing that study because yes, we forget about that, that, you know, oftentimes the fun in life and the fun is in the learning, right? Like, oh, I did it this way.

[00:09:41] Hmm, that didn't work. It doesn't mean I stink at it or I'm never going to be good at it, or that my value is now less because I couldn't do it, or I didn't do it that time. It's like, okay, what did I learn from it? How can I do it different?

[00:09:55] Amy Kemp: Yep. I even try to introduce myself in my work, not by saying like, I am a business coach. I try to say, I use an assessment tool and curriculum to help people replace unhealthy habits of thinking with more healthy ones, because it takes the, like, I am not I do.

[00:10:18] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm. Mm.

[00:10:20] Amy Kemp: right. I am not a teacher.

[00:10:22] I teach people high school English, or I teach, right? I, I think it's a, just an important distinction even in our language that somehow, we have become our work in the way we describe ourselves. Um, and so that's an important way that I also remind myself on a constant basis. I'm not that it's what I do. I love it.

[00:10:43] It's. Fun. I play with it, I use it. I, I use it to create and to serve in a really unique, cool way, but that is not my value.

[00:10:52] Shanenn Bryant: Yes, I get so many one-on-one clients who have hit this point in their life where their kids are grown.

[00:10:59] Amy Kemp: Hmm.

[00:11:00] Shanenn Bryant: They just are now out of the house. You know, maybe they've been married or in a relationship for years and years. They are like, oh, now. Now what? I don't know what to do with myself. And a lot of times this is when even jealousy and insecurity starts coming up because all of their worth.

[00:11:18] In their mind was being a good mom, being a good wife, being, you know, all of these things, and now it feels like that's gone and they don't know who they are or what their worth is.

[00:11:31] Amy Kemp: It's so true. It's subtle, but it's insidious that it sneaks in where even we say, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, a business owner. Are you or are those things you do?

[00:11:46] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah.

[00:11:46] Amy Kemp: It's a careful thing just in your identity, particularly with kids as they get older. One, because they. Their job is to differentiate themselves from you and to leave,

[00:11:59] Shanenn Bryant: Right. Yeah,

[00:12:00] Amy Kemp: which is in direct conflict with you finding your identity in that role. But if you've done it well, that's the outcome, right? Is that they are independent. That's

[00:12:09] Shanenn Bryant: this is true.

[00:12:10] Amy Kemp: so, there's like a built in. This job is ending and. I mean, not that it ends, you're still a

[00:12:19] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah, you're still, yeah. Yeah.

[00:12:21] Amy Kemp: I'm not suggesting,

[00:12:22] Shanenn Bryant: But it looks a lot different.

[00:12:24] Amy Kemp: but it's different and they need you less, and that's the goal. Um, but if you need them, it's

[00:12:34] Shanenn Bryant: Right. Yeah. What are some of the, there's got to be a bucket of top three thoughts that we have that are just really causing us issues in our life. What, what are maybe those top three?

[00:12:50] Amy Kemp: Yeah, great question. that I see a lot, particularly, I work mostly with women, so, uh, I'll speak to that directly. Is that a thought habit that leans toward obligation? is a really heavy habit of thinking and it sounds like I have to, I need to, I should. I have to. I need to. I should. And this can bleed from one area.

[00:13:19] Maybe you're feeling that way in your work. Uh, maybe you're feeling that way at home. Oh, I need to run to the dry cleaners. Oh, I have to get groceries, or I need to make food for tonight. Or I've, I have to go get a gift for so-and-so. When you start adding. The energy of obligation to the work of creating something, even just creating a happy day-to-day life. It's like the effort it takes to do that. Well, I'll use it in the example of growing a business, let's say you're growing a business, there's a natural energy that it takes to grow a business. So, it's like climbing a mountain, right? There's an incline and you're going to use energy to do it. It's just the way it goes.

[00:14:01] Shanenn Bryant: Hey.

[00:14:02] Amy Kemp: This habit of thinking is like; you've also picked up a hundred-pound backpack. You're going to do the same work, but you're adding this huge weight to the work you're already doing. so that habit of thinking, I see a lot showing up for women and they're op operating a lot out of obligation. Um

[00:14:24] Shanenn Bryant: And so how should we be looking at that instead? I mean, I'm thinking of, you know, on the days where I have, maybe back-to-back clients and the schedule's heavy and sometimes because there's a lot of energy that goes into that when you're coaching and it's like. Okay. I have to get in the mindset for them to go, I'm so excited.

[00:14:45] Like, I'm glad that that, and I have to get really, it's, it's positive anyway, but you know, when you're thinking about time and like, oh, how am I going to get all this other stuff done? And I've got this going on. So how should we be thinking about those types of things?

[00:14:59] Amy Kemp: you can do those two clients calls in the energy of I have to, and I got to get ready and I, you can do it that way, or you can choose to and want to and get to. And

[00:15:11] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah.

[00:15:11] Amy Kemp: the same two calls. Either way, just one takes less energy than the other. actually, working on an article right before I got on here about the management. Uh, I think of my work more in terms of energy management than time management.

[00:15:27] Shanenn Bryant: Hmm.

[00:15:28] Amy Kemp: to see more clients than I do. I don't have energy,

[00:15:32] Shanenn Bryant: Hmm.

[00:15:33] Amy Kemp: energy, you get a certain amount every day. And it depletes throughout the day, just through the natural course of things. It also depletes more, if you're dealing with. Holding space for people at a deep level. If you are grieving, that's a huge emotional drain. If you're going through any kind of healing journey, therapy, coaching type work that's heavier, like a deeper work that

[00:15:59] Shanenn Bryant: Mm.

[00:16:00] Amy Kemp: energy and we just don't even take that into account a lot of times. And so, then we're trying to push through, not

[00:16:10] Shanenn Bryant: Right.

[00:16:10] Amy Kemp: oh. I'm trying to do more than what I'm capable of doing. Not because I don't have the time, but because I don't have the emotional capacity for this right now.

[00:16:23] Shanenn Bryant: I think that's really important because I don't, we don't listen to those types of things too often. We don't listen to our body enough. We don't listen to just the way that we're feeling of saying, look, I'm going through some stuff, and yes, okay. I told these people that I would, you know, go to dinner. I said that I would do this thing.

[00:16:39] Amy Kemp: Mm-hmm.

[00:16:40] Shanenn Bryant: But I don't have to.

[00:16:43] Amy Kemp: you do not.

[00:16:43] Shanenn Bryant: Right. And me, you know, in a lot of instances I shouldn't because I don't have the energy to do it. And it's okay to have that permission. Yes.

[00:16:53] Amy Kemp: Yes, and it's okay to not even explain that to anyone, and it's okay to just sit at home and read a book. Instead

[00:17:02] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:17:02] Amy Kemp: it, you don't owe anyone a reason. You don't have to have a valid reason. Uh, I write about this in my book. There's a thing I have my clients do called a resentment audit tied to this habit of this obligation that basically throughout your day, and then for probably about a week or two, I have them write down just in a journal or in a note on their phone, anytime they feel the feeling of resentment. 

Now resentment to me, I've, I, I've tried to define it, but the fastest way I just describe it is I just made supper. We've finished eating. I'm in the kitchen cleaning everything up, and my husband is laying on the couch. Ouch.

[00:17:50] Shanenn Bryant: Sitting on the couch watching tv.

[00:17:53] Amy Kemp: Yeah. here's the, here's the interesting thing. I say, hey, you come in here and help me clean up from dinner? He would be like, oh yeah, sure. And he would jump

[00:18:06] Shanenn Bryant: Right.

[00:18:06] Amy Kemp: and come and help, right? instead, resentment to me is the banging of the pots and pans.

[00:18:13] Shanenn Bryant: Yes, Amy. I'm not kidding. This just happened at Christmas. We host Christmas every year at my house. Tons of people here and. After dinner, I'm at the sink. I'm washing the dish, you know, trying to load the dishwasher. My mom is standing to the left of me, and I look out and my husband and my stepdad are sitting on the couch.

[00:18:34] They're watching tv, just chitchatting lounge. And I was like, what? It must be nice to just think. And my mom's like, yeah. And then I was like, to what you said, if I asked him. He would, would he have come help me? Sure. But we do get in that cycle of like, ugh, why am I doing this? Well, why am I doing this right?

[00:19:00] Amy Kemp: Yes. So, here's what I want you to recognize. Every time you feel the feeling of resentment, I want you to imagine that there's a neon sign over your head, flashing words that say missing boundary.

[00:19:14] Shanenn Bryant: Oh.

[00:19:16] Amy Kemp: You aren't being clear about what you need, or you aren't protecting yourself in some way, and it's really your responsibility.

[00:19:27] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:19:28] Amy Kemp: To take that on. Now, that doesn't mean you jump in and try to set all the boundaries at once, but it's a really great way to identify where you are missing boundaries or not expressing what you need.

[00:19:39] Clearly,

[00:19:40] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:19:41] Amy Kemp: a waste, a colossal waste of energy to think, well, he should just know

[00:19:47] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah, yeah,

[00:19:48] Amy Kemp: should just know I'm not being gender specific. It can

[00:19:51] Shanenn Bryant: yeah.

[00:19:52] Amy Kemp: It, it's a colossal waste of energy.

[00:19:56] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:19:56] Amy Kemp: does no one any good now?

[00:19:59] Shanenn Bryant: No, we go to that all the time. I'm sorry. We go to that all the time. Right? Where like, well, they should just know, or how do they not know that dishes have to be done, and this is what we should be doing. Sometimes they don't know, or they have a bad, like, I don't feel like doing it right now. I don't want to do it right now.

[00:20:16] I want to do this other thing. I'm okay. But again, had we asked or had that conversation or said ahead of time, hey, when we're done, do you mind helping me with the dishes or whatever the situation is. I'm just using my own because.

[00:20:28] Amy Kemp: a simple, that's a simple. Description or like a simple example, but it's bigger than that. Also. I mean, there are situations, and I do think there's a realization of what if I ask and then they say no or they won't help,

[00:20:43] Shanenn Bryant: Eight.

[00:20:44] Amy Kemp: you know, then that's really a sign of a needed boundary. Right? Is that just the relationship needs to be renegotiated so that you are still safe so that your needs are still being met. That's the question, right? At what distance can I love both you and myself at the same time?

[00:21:04] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, that's a good one.

[00:21:05] Amy Kemp: really good question, right? What's the, what is the distance that I need? Um, because it is. I guess what I would say is that it's just a good realization. It's a good way to pay attention to where things are off.

[00:21:22] Even in your thinking or in your subconscious habits of thinking is by that feeling of resentment. It's, it's pretty accurate, it's pretty telling, uh,

[00:21:31] Shanenn Bryant: Mm.

[00:21:32] Amy Kemp: us to identify something that's really problematic.

[00:21:36] Shanenn Bryant: Mm. I may have stopped you short when you were talking about like keeping a journal of our resentment. So, okay, I've got the dish, you know, the Christmas dish washing thing on there. I've got a whole slew of other things. How do I use that? Then how do I use that for good

[00:21:54] Amy Kemp: Sure. Well, I think the question is what's the missing or lackluster boundary this

[00:22:01] Shanenn Bryant: mm.

[00:22:02] Amy Kemp: Typically, what we discover when a client does that that there's pattern of a person. Or certain people, it's not, it's like a repeated pattern.

[00:22:16] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah.

[00:22:16] Amy Kemp: Um, you'll see, or it's, I'm always caving when it comes to this type of situation.

[00:22:24] Maybe it's related to family or parenting or work. Maybe there's a particular work situation where you're constantly caving and giving up. Your boundaries. Uh, but I think the main part of it before you do anything is just to recognize onus and the responsibility is really on you,

[00:22:47] to get your needs met. It's not on anyone else. It's not their responsibility to know even if they should. Right? Because even that's a little bit of obligation energy.

[00:22:59] Shanenn Bryant: Right.

[00:22:59] Amy Kemp: they don't, and so there's no sense in being, having your feathers ruffled. It's just about clarity and really communicating what you need.

[00:23:09] Shanenn Bryant: Uh, that's so good. Yeah. Really helped to identify boundaries that maybe we need to set

[00:23:16] Amy Kemp: Mm-hmm.

[00:23:16] Shanenn Bryant: and how we can approach those things differently. Like you said, like.

[00:23:22] Amy Kemp: Yep.

[00:23:23] Shanenn Bryant: Um, I wanted to wrap it up talking about natural genius. I love this part because, um, when I had the idea for this podcast, it, it just felt so natural.

[00:23:34] I suffered from extreme jealousy forever, and as I learned to manage it a little better, that was the one thing that just kept pulling at me to like, I need to help other people catch this much sooner and be able to make adjustments and changes to that. So, but. How does one figure out like their natural genius?

[00:23:56] I like to think that this is what it is, but you know, who knows? So maybe there, maybe it's something different or maybe there's more, but how do we go about starting that process? Mm-hmm.

[00:24:07] Amy Kemp: in the work you're doing now is is the natural genius your ability to empathize and hold space for people who are dealing with this?

[00:24:18] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah, I feel like I understand more than probably many because I experienced it myself, and it's one that often people have a hard time finding other people they can talk to about it because if they go in and say, you know, Hey, I'm jealous all the time. They may get the response and do get the response of like, why are you worried about something that hasn't happened?

[00:24:41] Why are you, you know, he hasn't done anything, or she hasn't done anything. Why are you always worried about this So for me, I feel like yes, it is like I understand you. That's why I said that. I see you. That's how I feel like I see you. I totally get it. And you can share your wild stories with me because I've either done it or heard it

[00:25:02] Amy Kemp: Yes.

[00:25:03] Shanenn Bryant: before.

[00:25:04] Amy Kemp: If you look back on your life, have people always trusted you in that way though, where they felt really seen and understood by you?

[00:25:13] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, I guess it isn't just this particular thing, but yeah, I would say like I'm probably the, yeah. One that people would go to and go, what do you think about this? Or you know, sharing with me and feeling like I'm not going to judge them.

[00:25:29] Amy Kemp: Mm-hmm. You were a safe place

[00:25:32] Shanenn Bryant: Hmm.

[00:25:33] Amy Kemp: To

[00:25:33] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:25:34] Amy Kemp: through feelings or decisions or, experiences that were really vulnerable, tender, even

[00:25:42] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah.

[00:25:43] Amy Kemp: you'd be embarrassed or would have shame around them.

[00:25:47] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:25:47] Amy Kemp: Okay.

[00:25:48] Shanenn Bryant: sure. Yeah.

[00:25:49] Amy Kemp: Typically, I think the of your natural genius changes throughout your life. For example, you had something that you experienced really intensely. And then you applied your natural genius to it and are using it to

[00:26:04] Shanenn Bryant: Mm.

[00:26:06] Amy Kemp: unique space at this season of your life. But if you look back, typically you can see the trail of your natural genius throughout

[00:26:15] Shanenn Bryant: Mm.

[00:26:16] Amy Kemp: not like this is the first time you've held

[00:26:19] Shanenn Bryant: Right.

[00:26:20] Amy Kemp: right?

[00:26:21] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, yeah. Good. Yeah.

[00:26:22] Amy Kemp: The same is true. I mean, I think I have used this example, but have almost throughout, since I was a child, gathered groups of people and facilitated conversations. It's one of my favorite things to do. I, I used to think everyone could do it, but as a high school English teacher, we talked about books and I would, my students and I would have these really great discussions about the books that we were reading. As a business owner, when I was in sales, I used. Small groups and conversation within them to grow different salespeople and to use them to hold

[00:27:01] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-hmm.

[00:27:02] Amy Kemp: and connect them and to teach them. I just love that, that vehicle, right?

[00:27:09] Shanenn Bryant: right.

[00:27:10] Amy Kemp: And, and so now I'm using a, an assessment tool and a curriculum and it. Is about subconscious habits of thinking, but the vehicle, my natural genius, I'm, I still

[00:27:24] Shanenn Bryant: You are still doing it.

[00:27:25] Amy Kemp: that I'm facilitating, right? I'm kind of, so if I look back and even so far as I, I had a club when I was really young, like eight. You had to put a piece of chewed gum on the tree and to get in and I would lead a discussion about how to make our neighborhood a better place.

[00:27:40] Like I always, from a very young age have done this,

[00:27:44] Shanenn Bryant: Right?

[00:27:45] Amy Kemp: think that what you, you recognize the natural genius by asking the question, what do I do that feels easy to me, but astonishes everyone else.

[00:27:55] Shanenn Bryant: mm

[00:27:57] Amy Kemp: So, I

[00:27:58] Shanenn Bryant: That's such a good question.

[00:28:00] Amy Kemp: Yes, people would probably look at what you do and think, I have no idea how she does that, she steps into those spaces and talks about things that might be really uncomfortable for people to share, or they might feel embarrassed, or they might feel shame, or they might feel like they're alone and she

[00:28:19] Shanenn Bryant: Right,

[00:28:20] Amy Kemp: so safe. That so rare to be able to do that, and other people are saying. I can't, I don't know how she would She does it Does it just feel, it's like,

[00:28:33] Shanenn Bryant: right. Yeah. It comes easy, right? Or you're like, yeah. Yeah.

[00:28:37] Amy Kemp: Yes. So much so that probably the bigger problem I see particularly with women is that they undervalue their natural genius and don't charge what it's worth

[00:28:47] Shanenn Bryant: Hmm.

[00:28:48] Amy Kemp: easy to them, and so they just think everyone can do it.

[00:28:53] Shanenn Bryant: Oh yeah, that's such a good point.

[00:28:55] Amy Kemp: Hmm.

[00:28:56] Shanenn Bryant: And us not like highlighting it enough because we're like, what? It's no big deal. This is just what I do. Or this is just, yeah. I love that.

[00:29:05] Amy Kemp: Absolutely.

[00:29:06] Shanenn Bryant: we have to find that natural genius in us and then highlight it. Expose it, right?

[00:29:10] Amy Kemp: Yes. And get paid for it, what it's worth, right? Don't assume, and it, it, it's, uh, most of the time I find someone else has to tell you what it is. people are very self-aware, and they can identify it. They can look back and figure it out, but.

[00:29:28] Shanenn Bryant: Right.

[00:29:28] Amy Kemp: most people it, it requires someone else seeing you. I often think that's why people hire me, because I really do see them and I tell them what I see. This is what you do. That is rare. This is your gift.

[00:29:44] Shanenn Bryant: Mm.

[00:29:46] Amy Kemp: Let's turn the volume up on it. Let's use it more. How do we

[00:29:51] Shanenn Bryant: Uh.

[00:29:51] Amy Kemp: it and really, um, create with it.

[00:29:56] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, that's so good. Well, Amy, if people wanted to go, hey, help me find my natural genius, or help me control these thoughts that I have, or, or figure out my thought habits. Where do they go to connect with you?

[00:30:10] Amy Kemp: Yeah. Fun. First step is to take the habit finder. It's free. You get your results right away. It takes about 10 minutes, and you can take it on my website, which is my name, Amy Kemp. So, www.amykempcom. You just click Take the Habit Finder assessment. Um, and it will give you a snapshot, like if you could unzip your head and look at the grooves of your brain right now and where you have risk of falling into certain patterns of thinking. Keep in mind it's not measuring strengths. Personality, weaknesses, it's measuring risk that your brain, your thoughts, not you, your thoughts are falling into certain habits of thinking. So, keep it separate from you. Uh, for sure. When you look at the results. I think the other place that's fun to meet me is in my book, uh,

[00:31:03] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah.

[00:31:03] Amy Kemp: of designed to be like the foyer of my business, where you can walk in and look around and you can listen to it on Audible or get it anywhere where you can order books.

[00:31:13] Amazon,

[00:31:15] Shanenn Bryant: Great.

[00:31:15] Amy Kemp: bookshop.org. Your local bookstore, um, can order it for you easily also. Uh, but really. It is a, it feels like me, the book does. It feels like we're sitting at a table and just having a cup of coffee and having a conversation about these types of things. So those are the two places that I would recommend people start.

[00:31:38] Shanenn Bryant: Thank you so much. We will link your book, um, in the show notes as well. So, I appreciate you being on Top Self, so good to see you. Thank you so much.

[00:31:48] Amy Kemp: Thanks Shannon. And it was great to be here.

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