3 Reasons You’re Not Taking This Step >> BONUS EP 74

[00:00:01] shanenn-bryant: Well, hello. It feels so good to be back with you and doing another quick dump episode. If you're new here, my name is Shanenn Bryant and some of you may or may not know, but I have a 100 pound, beautiful german shepherd name, Samson. And he's been having some issues over the last few months. It started maybe back in February or March and just a little, disclaimer here, if you're eating, you may want to like push that, uh, fast-forward button a few times, cause this is kind of gross. If you have dogs, you may know what I mean, but mine has been messing with his butt. A lot. And it's disgusting. It's gross. Especially, I love in his face and I'm all mommy loves you and I'm in his face all the time and I kissed his nose and we have since taken a break from each other because he's disgusting. 

[00:01:06] shanenn-bryant: But I started feeling bad for him. He was messing with it pretty bad. So we knew we needed to take him into the vet. The vet prescribed him all of this medication to take. So we had to give him some stuff the night before and some stuff the day of. because he just, he doesn't do well at the vet. He's super loving with us, of course, and anyone in my family but other dogs, other people that he doesn't know, especially one, that's going to stick their finger up his butt. I mean, he didn't like it. 

[00:01:40] shanenn-bryant: Of course who would? So he, he can be, aggressive with them. So they always take super precaution when we bring them in and we do the side door. Uh, to go into the vet just to avoid the lobby, things like that. So He's a lot of work that guy, but he's super cute and we love him but he had to be severely drugged up and it was a lot of medication. 

[00:02:07] shanenn-bryant: It was like Gabapentin and And some, EISA something you, people who are vets or vet assistance. You'll know what I mean. But we had to give him some of it the night before some, the morning of his appointment. And then they ended up putting him to sleep. Well, I guess not to sleep my god, we didn't have him put to sleep sedated. They ended up having him sedated..

[00:02:31] shanenn-bryant: When we got there, he was doped up and he wasn't. Um, really being any type of way with them, not in an aggressive manner, but just because of what they needed to do because we thought, okay, if he's this drugged, lets you know, do what they call again, gross, so if you're eating, sorry, but they had to express his anal glands. Uh, yuk. Anyway. we thought, okay, well, while we're here, let's get his teeth cleaned. Let's get him chipped because he never got chipped when he was a baby. And do a full

[00:03:10] shanenn-bryant: checkup. Because again, it's hard for them to do when, he's just being his normal self and he hates the muzzle. My husband, fortunately picked him up from the vet but he couldn't get them out of the truck for like four hours because Samson was so weak from all the medication and being sedated.

[00:03:31] shanenn-bryant: Samson was too weak to like jump down from the truck. So eventually my husband had to build a ramp and put a blanket underneath them and scoot him down the ramp from the truck to the steps, like into the house from the garage.

[00:03:47] shanenn-bryant: Literally the very next day he was back in his butt, again, messing with his butt chewing or licking, or I don't know what it is that he's doing, so. we had to repeat the whole process over again. 

[00:03:59] shanenn-bryant: I didn't give him all of the medication that the vet said to give him. I gave him most of it. But I was a little bit worried that I wouldn't be able to get him in the car and definitely worried I wouldn't be able to get him out of the car on the way home. But here's what made me think of you. As we got to the vet, now, this is the second time mind you, that he has been doped up on medication feeling really weird. And, I don't lie to him. I say, you want to go for a ride and he loves it, but usually it's somewhere fun like the store or Nana and Papaw's. He knew this morning that he was at the vet. And when he got out of the car, he just laid with all his, like, just all of his weight and just laid down in the parking lot. 

So for 10 minutes I'm trying to scoot this hundred pound dog, like get him to stand up. And then when he would stand up and I'd start to walk towards the door he just collapsed on the ground again. Laying right in the middle of the parking lot. So I had to kind of trick him and break trust with him and act like we were walking in a different direction. And then finally walked a long weird way around to the other side of the door to go in. And he was like, Ugh, you tricked me. I'm doomed. I felt bad for doing it, but I mean, I had to get him into the vet, but I knew like, oh, great. that was it. I can't, that's not gonna work anymore. And I've got to build some sort of trust with him now, again. So then I thought, Hmm. I wonder, hopefully some of the techniques for building trust within humans will work on my dog, but, um, I don't know. 

[00:05:59] shanenn-bryant: And I don't know if it's all going to work. But it started making me think of the trust-building bootcamp that's coming up and that you haven't signed up yet. And it made me think. I wonder why. So if you've been with me or been around here for a while, you know, that I love to do evaluations and to evaluate things to say, okay, what didn't go well? What can I do better next time, but then also what did go well and what do I want to do more of, or do it again? 

[00:06:34] shanenn-bryant: So I started thinking, man, if there are people that maybe have some mind drama about signing up for the bootcamp, I want to address those. And I want to think through what that possibly could be. So I came up with three things that maybe causing you to get stuck or feeling like this is why I'm really not taking the step and joining the bootcamp. 

[00:06:58] shanenn-bryant: Because I know that you would love to feel like you could trust your partner and you could trust yourself. I remember being stuck to for decades. 

[00:07:10] shanenn-bryant: And when I started, making progress and I started feeling better and then ultimately decided to do the podcast and share all my vulnerable moments and mistakes, and even my wins. But I did that in the hopes that it would help someone like you start a little sooner, encourage you to take the first step inspire you that it could get better. So I did this evaluation and. I want to walk through what I came up with in case any of these are the reasons that you are not doing this for yourself, because I know you more than anyone want to change. 

[00:07:52] shanenn-bryant: So maybe this can clear out some of that mind drama for you. 

[00:07:58] shanenn-bryant_1_05-10-2024_155018: The first one might be logistics. So when I say logistics, I'm talking about like cost. The time I and the timing of it. 

[00:08:09] shanenn-bryant: So Let's talk about cost for a second. Full transparency, the trust-building boot camp is $397 for a six-week group coaching program. Here's the thing though. You can split it over two payments so you can pay a hundred ninety-eight fifty one month and a hundred ninety eight fifty. The second month. 

 Think about how many dinners that maybe didn't go the way that you or your partner wanted to, because your jealousy creeped up during that dinner, or maybe the movies. Maybe at a special event. Even birthdays, celebrating each other's birthdays, or maybe even an anniversary. And it certainly depends on where you live, but let's say a dinner for the two of you, you know, a nice dinner out on a Friday or Saturday night is a hundred bucks. Well, maybe two dinners a month did not go well. And we can change that. 

We can make that different. So right there. Even if you went out twice a month for a nice dinner that didn't really feel good to you. Even if it didn't completely like go up in flames. Maybe you just didn't feel good during the dinner, and you got through it, but you couldn't really focus. You couldn't really concentrate. It didn't feel great to be there. 

[00:09:37] shanenn-bryant: If you're someone who goes to Starbucks. You know, if you're paying whatever $6 for a coffee even if you're buying it like three days a week, that's why like 70. 70 to $75 somewhere around there. Just on coffee. My point of bringing that up and pour Starbucks, I feel like they always get picked on. But the point is, is there a place where that money is maybe better spent? Spend it on yourself. Invest in yourself. Invest in your relationship. 

[00:10:10] shanenn-bryant: Maybe just consider, are there things that potentially, I don't need to do this month so that I don't feel quite so guilty for spending the money? Because I get it. If you're budget conscious, which I think a lot of us are these days, then. Where some ways are, are there things that okay, maybe just for this month or then for the next two months, if I do split payments, What can I cut back on so that I don't feel so bad spending this money on myself because I feel like that's part of it too, is you feel like you're spending money on yourself, which it is, but also.... you're worth it. 

[00:10:50] shanenn-bryant: And your relationship is worth it. So just a thought. That there may be some other ways that may make sense from a financial perspective for you. 

 I have to do this a lot in my business because there might be training that I want or new technology to make either the podcast better or the website better or coaching technology better. And I always have that initial sticker shock. I feel like no matter what it is, 

 But I always have that initial sticker shock, and then I have to think, okay, wait a second. If this is something that I think is going to be good? If it's something that I want it, I really feel like is good for me or good for the business. Then I think about what makes that worth it and how I can make that happen? 

 So I just wanted to offer up that thought to you because I know the money topic is kind of yuk. We don't even really want to talk about it. Maybe we don't even want to talk about it with our partners and please know this is not something we don't want people to go in debt for this or anything like that, it's just where I've learned to kind of open my mind to go, okay, how can I make this work versus my initial thought is, oh my gosh, no. Especially when it comes to money, like Nope, not doing it, not spending it. 

So I just wanted to offer up that thought to you. Also, as a way that we can learn to to push our thoughts a little bit further than that first. Initial thought. 

[00:12:32] shanenn-bryant: And if you give up the ice lavender cream. Oat milk Matcha drink that they have right now at Starbucks. Just know you can have it again, because right now you're trying to get into the trust-building bootcamp. 

[00:12:45] shanenn-bryant: Okay. So, cost might be a thing and just know you can split the payments over two months. So. I do have a way for you to do that. The other thing, it could be his time. this group meets at 7:00 PM on Wednesdays and that 7:00 PM Eastern. 

[00:13:03] shanenn-bryant: So this could be a time where it's dinner time or it's time to give the kids a bath, or maybe it's bedtime for kids or it's reading books to the kids, or you're doing homework with them. 

[00:13:15] shanenn-bryant: And so I'm wondering if this is maybe one of those times where you can lean on your partner a little bit. Maybe you can lean on your partner a little bit. 

[00:13:27] shanenn-bryant: And maybe you can say, you know what, I really want to invest in me and I want to invest in our relationship and it's going to mean that I need to. Take this time, this one hour a week. And so is there a way that we can make some adjustments? It might be worth it to say, Hey, I'm going to... 

[00:13:46] shanenn-bryant: I'm not going to be here to do this for the next six weeks at this time. But when I'm done, I'm going to feel a little less anxious. I'm going to be able to feel more focused when its. bath time or time to read books or putting the kids to bed. I'm going to feel more present. When that comes around. 

 And if you don't have kids or even for the ones that do, know, that every session is recorded so you'll have the replay available. Even if you have to miss a session or two, you can always go back and listen to the replay. So. 

Maybe now you've cut it down to four hours where you have to find some other way to be able to make that 7:00 PM Eastern time. Work for you and your schedule with kids without kids. Because there may be other things that are in the way in terms of that 7:00 PM timing. So just know there is replay. 

[00:14:48] shanenn-bryant: Every session is recorded so you will have access to replays, so you can go back and you can watch it whenever you have time. And whenever makes sense for you. So you can do the exercises. You can, you know, follow along, you can still submit questions. 

[00:15:08] shanenn-bryant: You can still be engaged in that way but maybe watching the replay and it doesn't have to be every time. So maybe it's just a couple of times that you missed the sessions because something's going on or it just doesn't work out with your partner for that week. But just wanted you to know that there's the replay option. 

[00:15:28] shanenn-bryant_1_05-10-2024_155018: The other thing might be timing. Our brain sometimes go, oh my gosh, six weeks. I committing to six weeks of something. There's no way I could do that. Things are so super busy. I've got a lot going on and I don't know that I would actually be able to commit to six weeks. Well, let's, let's break it down a little bit because yes. I mean, I don't know. Now you've got me nervous. 

[00:15:54] shanenn-bryant: Can I commit to six weeks? But it's six hours. If you break it down, we meet one time a week. For 60 minutes. So it's six hours. It's six hours of your life. And if you think about it, consider how long jealousy has been driving your life? How many times did, is, does it affect your relationship? How many hours has it been? That you and your partner aren't speaking, or you're in an argument because of jealousy or you're feeling guilty because of jealousy. 

[00:16:31] shanenn-bryant: Probably more than six hours, for sure. Probably more than six hours just this week that you've thought about. Your insecurities and you felt jealous and, or. You and your partner have been at odds. 

[00:16:46] shanenn-bryant: And so a lot of times it's just what we do it in. It makes sense that we do it and we think, oh my gosh, you know, six weeks, that just seems like such a heavier load than it actually is. So if you really break it down, it's just six hours compared to however long you've been feeling like this. 

[00:17:07] shanenn-bryant: And if you can feel even just a little bit better. I would think that's worth it. Okay. So number one was logistics. We covered cost and time and timing. 

[00:17:20] shanenn-bryant: So number two might be the idea of a group setting. Maybe the idea of a group setting, isn't really something that's up your alley. Maybe you're shy or you're introverted. Guess what, me too. I know, it seems weird for somebody to have a podcast and somebody who speaks in front of people and to groups of people, but I am super introverted and I'm really shy. So maybe you just don't feel comfortable talking about it with other people. One, it could be that you've tried talking about it with somebody else before. 

[00:17:58] shanenn-bryant: Maybe you tried a friend or a family member or even a therapist and you were met with things like, oh my gosh. Why are you worried about that? Like, I don't understand that just as so silly. They haven't even done anything. Why are you worried about something that hasn't happened yet? 

[00:18:12] shanenn-bryant: Whatever you are met with makes you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm not, I don't want to talk about it. I never want to talk about that again. It makes me feel even worse. It makes me feel bad about myself. It makes me feel like something's really wrong with me. But just know. this is a group of other people that are experiencing things they're thinking things, doing things, saying things, just like you. And really, I see it time and time again after the first week or maybe a little, sometimes even the second week, but after the first or second week, then people just really come out of their shell. And that whole shy and not wanting to talk. 

[00:18:54] shanenn-bryant: It goes right out the window because they're getting so much out of it and they're getting so much support and they're seeing other people get support. And just feeling seen and heard. It feels good to be in that group setting. There's quite a bit of a relief that comes from it. And you can see that like, oh my gosh, this really feels good to talk about it. 

[00:19:17] shanenn-bryant: And to get the support from other people. And a lot of times, like you don't even have to talk if you don't want to. You know, if somebody else is talking or they're asking a question, it usually hits home. With the other people in the group. So you, there's no pressure to talk. There's no pressure to feel like, oh my gosh, I'm going to have to lay out my all, you know, everything about my life. 

[00:19:38] shanenn-bryant: I'm going to have to talk. And tell deep dark secrets to strangers that I've never met before. It's not like that at all. In fact, I do a lot of the talking or the training, the explaining exercises that you'll do. So let that be a relief and relieve some of that pressure that you might be feeling like, oh my gosh, I don't want to be put on the spot and I don't want to have to talk. And I don't want to share my intimate details. You don't have to do that. 

[00:20:07] shanenn-bryant: There is time for people who do want to talk about it and you know, what's going on with them specifically and get coaching specifically. There's absolutely time for that. And as you feel more comfortable, you may find yourself like, oh, I want to get coaching. Now I do want to talk about it because you can see what a safe space it is. That is possibly number two, the group setting. So, if you're worried about the group setting, Get that outta your mind, because we also have a lot of fun too believe it or not. 

[00:20:38] shanenn-bryant: And I think it's super rewarding for the people that are in that group. In fact, there are many of them who have went through the program before, who are to this day are actually still connected outside of the program.  Once the program ends, they still keep in touch and they keep supporting each other outside of that six week program. So set all that mind drama as side, if that's the problem. 

[00:21:04] shanenn-bryant: Or if that's a block for you. So then the third one might be. You don't believe you can change. You don't think it's going to do any good you've read books. You've listened to podcasts. You've been a therapy. You've talked to your partner, your friends, your family members. You've done work on your own. You've done meditation. Maybe you've tried all of that. 

And no, I've got plenty of testimonials from people who have been through the group coaching program. So just, know, actually, in fact, 

[00:21:37] shanenn-bryant: I even just heard from one of them today who went back and was saying, oh my gosh, you know what a difference a year makes. I listened to one of the sessions from when I was in the program over a year ago, and I was laughing about the conversation. And just the bootcamp, just getting maybe a jump start, this kind of kickstart into making changes. And we'll do it little by little. A lot of times we feel like, oh my gosh, I have to, I want this huge transformation because I've been doing this so long and I want things to change right away. And that's what makes you feel like you're not succeeding. 

[00:22:25] shanenn-bryant: And so I do a really good job and I'll do a really good job showing you the progress that you're making, even in that six weeks. A lot of times, we don't see it. We don't see the progress ourselves. And so we'll make sure that you are seeing that progress that you're making. And again, it's a bootcamp. 

[00:22:44] shanenn-bryant: This is a kickstart. This is a jumpstart into how things can be different into thinking a little bit different into a different mindset. Progress not perfection. It's baby steps. 

[00:22:59] shanenn-bryant: That's what we're after because if not. What's the alternative? The alternative is you don't do anything. You don't take the first step. And you stay exactly where you are. Or you get worse.

[00:23:17] shanenn-bryant: And I really wanted to think, gosh, if there are things that are holding someone back, there are things that are holding you back. I really want to offer up alternatives and, and maybe thinking about things a little bit different that maybe there's not a problem. Maybe there isn't anything actually standing in your way, except for you. That maybe it's just really not a problem. 

[00:23:46] shanenn-bryant: So, if you are interested in signing up for the trust-building bootcamp, of course, the links are in the show notes. So the link to sign up or If you want to split it in payments, that link is there too. And you'll see the difference. So pick whichever one works for you and works for your budget. And whichever one you feel best doing. 

[00:24:08] shanenn-bryant: Because. You've got enough guilt. You don't need any more guilt of spending money or time or investing in yourself, you don't need any more guilt for that. So, Um, whichever one works for you. Pick that one. The doors to this and the opportunity to register are going to be ending soon. So. 

I will see you May 29th at 7:00 PM Eastern time. Can't wait to see you there. And until next time, take care and remember. You're not alone.