3 F's to Dressing and Feeling Confident w/ Jessica Papineau EP 70

 [00:00:00] Shanenn Bryant: Well, hello.I'm your host. Shanenn Bryant. Welcome back. Thanks for joining again. Another episode of Top Self. Um, I can't wait for you to hear this episode. It's a little bit different than what I normally bring to you. But what I found interesting after getting even just a little bit into this conversation with today's guest, who, by the way, her name is Jessica Papineau. She's the founder of CSJ, that's a leading styling company where she teaches women how to use fashion to serve their purpose, boost their confidence and elevate their image. And what I found really interesting, it made me realize that whether it comes to our bodies, the way we dress, our relationships, whatever it is. We focus on our areas of shame. And you'll hear in the episode as Jessica describes what we do when we look at ourselves in the mirror 

[00:00:55] Shanenn Bryant: I never realized it, but it's also exactly what we do when we look at ourselves in our relationships when it comes to jealousy. So I can't wait for you to hear that part. 

[00:01:05] Shanenn Bryant: She also brings up another really good exercise and it reminds me of an exercise that I do in Trust-Building Bootcamp. we will also be doing it Inside of the self-improvement society or the SIS membership. 

[00:01:18] Shanenn Bryant: And by the way, if you have not joined yet, oh my gosh, what are you doing? It's 27 bucks a month. For coaching sessions, training sessions, support from other people, challenges. It's a blast. So go to the show notes, click the link, go ahead and join the SIS membership. But inside that, Jessica brings up the exercise, which is very similar of us writing down, you know, what would it look like in the life of someone who's not jealous? Someone who feels extremely confident, someone who, you know, whatever your ambitions are, whether you want to write a book or you want to be a teacher, or you want to be a stay-at-home mom, whatever that is, what is it look like? Uh, day in the life of that person. and I never thought about it in terms of the way we dress. Also, you know, dressing for what it would look like in that life. 

[00:02:17] Shanenn Bryant: I can't wait for you to hear it. Coming up, Jessica Papineau. 

[00:02:21] Shanenn Bryant: Welcome back to another episode of Top Self. we are gonna get into really beyond the styling, even though that's what you do, you really go inside the person from kind of outside in.

[00:02:38] Shanenn Bryant: And that's what I'm excited about. So I knew I wanted to have you on the podcast. Welcome.

[00:02:43] Jessica Papineau: Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here and I love your podcast. I've been listening and, it just resonates so much with me, what I hear from other women, in the business that I'm in.

[00:02:58] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, I bet. And we were talking earlier, I mean, the big thing is women comparing themselves constantly with other women. And I joke about it, I think there was, I had said like another guest on my podcast and he was talking about, you know, we weren't ever supposed to see everyone across the world to compare ourselves to.

[00:03:19] Shanenn Bryant: Right? We're used to, and I, the way I grew up, like, okay, I knew the girls I went to school with and you know, my neighborhood, and that was about it. And now it's just so much harder and we have so much more to compare to.

[00:03:32] Jessica Papineau: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And I see it all the time. You know, I've worked with thousands of clients over the years, and it doesn't matter if she's a size zero or she's a size 24 

[00:03:45] Jessica Papineau: with all the thousands of women that I've worked with and talked with, when I am working with them, styling them, they are trying on clothes, but they're also taking their clothes off and like.

[00:03:59] Jessica Papineau: They're, they're literally taking their clothes off in front of me, so they are at their most vulnerable and they're looking in the mirror. And I always make women try on fitted clothes because it is a matter of, most women do not know how to wear the right fitted clothes because it's all about fit and it's all about fabric.

[00:04:20] Jessica Papineau: And so as a woman, this is what women do. And they put clothes on and they look in the mirror. And I'm sure this is gonna resonate with you too, 'cause it resonates with everyone. You look in the mirror and your eye goes right to the area of your body that you're shameful of. Right.

[00:04:37] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, I never thought about it, but you're so

[00:04:39] Jessica Papineau: Every woman. Every woman does it. It doesn't matter who it is, and I, but I know this because to her, she doesn't know she's doing it. But I get to watch her, I peer into the mirror and watch her do that to herself. And so and this is gonna tie in in a minute. So what happens when someone focuses and puts their eye in one area?

[00:05:05] Jessica Papineau: It just magnifies it, right? It just makes it more of that, it's like negative thinking, right? And, and it makes it something that it never was. They're not seeing the whole picture, they're not seeing themselves. So what I teach women how to do. By putting the right fabrics on them and making sure it's the right fit.

[00:05:30] Jessica Papineau: I show them how to showcase and highlight their best, the best areas so that they can begin to see themselves as a whole. Because what, what happens when a woman does that and she looks in the mirror and she's seeing what she doesn't like, she wants to cover it up, and so she covers it up and all it does is it, it actually highlights the area when you're trying to cover it 

[00:05:57] Jessica Papineau: But when you're wearing the right piece that is fitted, that highlights the best parts of you. What you're seeing is the whole person, so going through the frameworks that I do with my clients, when the mindset shifts and I watch it in the mirror, I can see when the shift happens. When I show her how to highlight with the, with the right, I call it the cake, the like core pieces that are fitted on the body. And when I can show her how to do that and then put some icing over top of it, she looks in the mirror and she sees herself and I see the glimmer in her eye like something shifts and usually her eyes will well up with tears

[00:06:39] Shanenn Bryant: Mm.

[00:06:39] Jessica Papineau: and she'll say, I have never felt beautiful. This is the first time.

[00:06:49] Shanenn Bryant: Oh my gosh.

[00:06:50] Jessica Papineau: So I know I'm starting with the end result here, but the reason why I am saying this is because what women do to themselves and how they tear themselves down is just, it's, it's a very isolating feeling. When a woman is feeling that way and feeling shameful about things about her body and about herself, what does she do?

[00:07:15] Jessica Papineau: She looks outside herself because she can't do the internal work. So she looks outside and what does she do? She gets on her phone, she's at night, she's looking at social media, she's watching tv. We have so much input now.

[00:07:32] Shanenn Bryant: There's just that natural thing that happens when you're not feeling good about yourself, you're looking to others, right?

[00:07:40] Jessica Papineau: And so this whole thing in the fashion world, and this is why what I do is so different. It's not about what? What are you seeing? And oh, that must be what I should be wearing, you know, because it doesn't work like that. So, you know, oftentimes women, they'll be scrolling on social media. They see the picture of the, of the outfit on the girl, right? And it perfect. She looks,

[00:08:05] Shanenn Bryant: so good on

[00:08:06] Jessica Papineau: it looks so good. And so, you know, you're drinking your glass of wine, you're looking at your phone, you're drinking, I wanna look like her, and click and buy. So then shows up at your doorstep a few days later, you put it on your body. It's bad fabric. The fit is awful.

[00:08:28] Jessica Papineau: It's, it was never something that you would've imagined yourself to wear anyway. You just thought maybe you should do it. 'cause it looked good on her. So you put it on, you look in the mirror and you go, oh, it's true. All my self limiting beliefs are true. I 

[00:08:46] Shanenn Bryant: I don't look good in anything.

[00:08:48] Jessica Papineau: look yes 

[00:08:50] Shanenn Bryant: Everybody else looks good, not me. She's her body style and that's why she looks good in it. I don't look good in anything. I love it. you talking about and noticing that women look right at the area that they are, you know, most concerned with. That you must have seen so many hundreds of women do that. You've been doing this for a long time. Can you tell me how did you get into this space in the first place to then notice all these things about women and figure out, oh, these are the things, because I know you have like the three Fs and I wanna get that. touched on 'em a little bit. How'd you get into it?

[00:09:32] Jessica Papineau: Okay. I'm gonna try to give a very short version 'cause it's a, it's a really interesting story. So, I grew up in, backwoods of Maine, in the seventies, and my parents were hippies and I. Not only were we in the back woods, we had no electricity, we had no running water. We had an outhouse, we had a Woodburn stove to heat our entire house. And my clothing was from Salvation Army. So that's just paint the picture of, you know, we, what were the stylist came from, right.

[00:10:08] Shanenn Bryant: That's a, that's a big leap.

[00:10:10] Jessica Papineau: So I thought that I, I didn't know how I came into this family and I thought there was something wrong with me because I loved fashion and beauty. And so I remember when I was really, really young, I would take my clothes outta my closet every day. And at this time I was an only child. I was like three, four years old.

[00:10:33] Jessica Papineau: And my clothes, I would put them on, I would look in the mirror and I'd make all kinds of like fun outfits. And what I would do is I'd look in the mirror and I'd pretend that I was at all these parties and I was having fun and they liked me 'cause I looked so good. And we were playing, you know, this was my whole imaginative game. And I really felt like I was at the party.

[00:10:56] Jessica Papineau: I realized later in life I didn't know it then, but my superpower was my imagination 

[00:11:02] Jessica Papineau: I was a very creative child. And then I felt that I was superficial because my family didn't approve of this, but all I wanted was to work in retail. 

[00:11:13] Jessica Papineau: So in 1993, I was 16 years old. My dad had moved to Canada, Winnipeg, Manitoba, where he was from. 

[00:11:23] Jessica Papineau: So I thought, I am gonna go to Winnipeg, Manitoba, and I'm gonna work in a mall because there's, it's a city. 

[00:11:32] Jessica Papineau: So I go there and I hand out my resume to every store, and I am like so enthusiastic. I get to the furthest store in the mall. I'd been handing out my resume the whole time, but this time the manager was there.

[00:11:44] Jessica Papineau: She took my resume and talked to me for a minute, and I guess she saw how enthusiastic I was. So she hires me and unbeknownst to me like this was my dream, right? I thought, I'm gonna start. I'm gonna have my first day, and it's just gonna be magical.

[00:12:00] Shanenn Bryant: Right.

[00:12:01] Jessica Papineau: So I realized quickly after I walked in that the clothing, it was beautiful, like I loved it, but I had just been hired at a woman's plus size clothing store, and I was a skinny, scrawny 16-year-old.

[00:12:17] Jessica Papineau: I was totally uncomfortable in my body. I totally had body image issues, but I didn't have the realization to know that these women walking in. Were probably comparing themselves to me and they did not want my help. How could a 16-year-old, skinny scrawny girl help me? Right.

[00:12:36] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah. They're like, no, you. You're only making me feel worse.

[00:12:40] Jessica Papineau: Yeah, 

[00:12:41] Jessica Papineau: So I'm watching every day. These women, they're walking into the store. I'm asking to help them. They're denying me. They're going into the fitting room with a ton of clothes, but walking out with nothing. They walk out and they look defeated, like they feel terrible about themselves. That's when I first started watching women look in the mirror.

[00:13:00] Jessica Papineau: And they would put on the big top and the big pants and like they were totally not feeling good about themselves. And so over time, watching women come out, they try things on, I would imagine, putting outfits on them and I could see what they would look like in my mind. So this one woman one day, she, same thing.

[00:13:25] Jessica Papineau: Didn't want my help, leaves everything in the fitting room, goes to leave. And I was like. Excuse me. clearly you came here with a purpose, like you drove all the way to the furthest mall to second floor on the furthest, the furthest store in the mall. You must have wanted something or needed something today.

[00:13:44] Jessica Papineau: I know you said you didn't want my help, but what do you have to lose? Give me a try and. That's where it started. I, I was, she said, all right, well, I guess you're right. And so she was the first woman that I was able to dress, and I started putting fitted clothing on her. I picked all the fitted stuff. I did do it in the darker color, 'cause in my mind, if she wore the darker color, and then I put like this jacket over top that was just skimming the body.

[00:14:17] Jessica Papineau: It wasn't super fitted. And I watched the shift. I watched her eyes the moment she had the moment was the moment I had the moment that this is my gift to give the world. 

[00:14:30] Jessica Papineau: This is what I'm meant to do.

[00:14:32] Shanenn Bryant: Absolutely. Yeah. That's your gift to the world. This is your calling to, I can see it. I can see what someone needs, and I can see how to make that mind shift for 

[00:14:42] Jessica Papineau: Yeah.

[00:14:43] Jessica Papineau: I was like loving it. I came up with this concept of taking five pieces and creating 21 outfits out of the five pieces. and so, and that was how I would get like customers to come in and, and they wanted to work with me 'cause I would entertain women on their lunch break.

[00:15:03] Jessica Papineau: They'd come in from all the, the, the office buildings in the area and they'd watch me and I'd put together. And that's when I came up with the cake and the icing on the cake. And the cake being the core pieces and its fit and its fabric, and showing them how to, you know, how it would lay on the body.

[00:15:21] Jessica Papineau: And then putting scarves and jackets and doing the whole thing. 

[00:15:25] Shanenn Bryant: Oh my gosh. Well, I have a ton of questions for you just from that alone because, You, you know, talking about that confidence shift, and that's really why I wanted to have you on the podcast because, you know, we talked about that, that comparison piece.

[00:15:42] Shanenn Bryant: And someone who's listening to this podcast, they're feeling really insecure already. They're feeling jealous in their relationship. They're comparing themselves to not only women on social media, but their friends and who their. Worried that their partner may be attracted to, or the coworkers of their partner.

[00:16:00] Shanenn Bryant: I mean, the comparison, availability, I guess you could say. It just goes on and on. So when you're styling someone I, and I will tell you, pants are my worst. You made a comment about the pants

[00:16:15] Jessica Papineau: Oh, the is the most important.

[00:16:18] Shanenn Bryant: It's the hardest for me and it's where I get the most frustrated one, I'm short, I'm only five three.

[00:16:24] Shanenn Bryant: I feel like everything's always too long and petite is too short or you know, all of that. So I always start there and I go, just what you said, I'm looking at the places that I hate and I go, forget it, and I get frustrated. So can you tell, is that where you start with people?

[00:16:44] Jessica Papineau: Nope.

[00:16:45] Shanenn Bryant: No. Where do you start?

[00:16:47] Jessica Papineau: The framework that I use, the first, the first step is, it's, I call it review and reflect, and it has nothing to do with your clothes. So it's about reviewing and reflecting really on your life, on where you are, what your lifestyle is, but then giving yourself permission to really think about what you desire.

[00:17:12] Jessica Papineau: Where you want to go. This is not something that I can just ask the question and I get the answer right away because the answer comes always very quickly and it's never, it never seems authentic, and so. I do when I hear the answers, 'cause I'll, I'll hear things like, well I just wanna get this promotion at work, or, I'm really hoping that, you know, my kid gets into Yale, and it doesn't really have anything to do with what they desire or it's something they think that they should be doing or that what others would expect of them.

[00:17:50] Jessica Papineau: So, so then I asked the question, okay, if you weren't thinking about your family right now, what you think maybe you should be doing finances, what other people think, if none of those things were a factor, what do you really love and what would you maybe, what are you cur curious about?

[00:18:13] Jessica Papineau: What would you be curious about trying that you've never done? Then they stop and they look as if no one has ever asked that question. And like, I have 10 heads coming outta my body. And then they'll say kind of like quietly, like I always wanted to write a book. And then they look at me or like it'll be something that they like that they really just had just said out loud, but they said it so quietly 'cause they didn't know if it was okay to say.

[00:18:44] Shanenn Bryant: Or maybe they've never even said it out loud, 

[00:18:46] Jessica Papineau: maybe they've never 

[00:18:47] Shanenn Bryant: voiced it. 

[00:18:48] Jessica Papineau: Yeah. And, and so then I'll say, okay, tell me more about that. And then they'll say a few things and then they wanna skip over it. And I say, no, wait, wait a sec. Stay right there. I want you to lean into what you just said and tell me more about that. And so then, then it starts to flow.

[00:19:12] Jessica Papineau: Then they, then they have me with them to hold the space with them because they now feel that they have the permission to really go there because most women don't ever truly go there. Maybe they were there at one point. When they were a child, much like when I was looking in the mirror with the clothes and doing the whole thing and imagining, but then at some point they lost that along the way.

[00:19:37] Jessica Papineau: And so once I can start to see the light in them and the passion start to come through, that's when I get them to describe to me. Not only like what is surrounding them in the lifestyle that they desire, like what do they see around them? Like, explain what, what a day in the life of that looks like. And then what are you feeling like, what does that feel like to be, to have written that book or to have, you know, climbed Kilimanjaro, whatever it is, right?

[00:20:09] Jessica Papineau: And then they start to tell me, and then I get really like woo woo, and I close my eyes. I get them to keep sharing and I imagine what they're wearing in that lifestyle that they desire, and that's step one.

[00:20:28] Shanenn Bryant: Love it. How interesting. Because even as you were saying that, I was thinking, oh, you know, if somebody. Said, I wanna be a surf instructor or, or a, a yoga instructor or something. You can see that person may dress a very different way than someone who says, I wanna start my own company, or I wanna be the CEO of a company.

[00:20:52] Shanenn Bryant: It could be very different in terms of how that person would dress to get that across. Right.

[00:20:58] Jessica Papineau: Yeah, exactly, and typically it's the thing that they really want and that they desire. When you really break it down, they just don't really feel worthy of it.

[00:21:11] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-Hmm.

[00:21:11] Jessica Papineau: Women really do get consumed with how they look and how and how they perceive themselves. And so that's why the going from the outside in. That's why I've found that it's so transformative. It can really transform someone's life for that very reason. And so

[00:21:33] Shanenn Bryant: Because you're, you're sorry to interrupt. You're, because you are, you know, that person is tearing themselves down in the dressing room, so it makes perfect sense. like to equate it to. 

[00:21:46] Shanenn Bryant: I'm lifting them up as I'm styling them

[00:21:49] Jessica Papineau: Yeah.

[00:21:50] Shanenn Bryant: from the tear down that they do consistently.

[00:21:53] Jessica Papineau: Yeah. And it's about them getting to, to have a relationship with themselves and when we're, when we're not right internally and we don't feel good about who we are, how are we then supposed to go out into the world, have really solid, good relationships be successful? And how are we able to experience joy? If we don't feel good.

[00:22:20] Shanenn Bryant: Everybody can re remember those certain outfits. I like it was yesterday, can remember being in the seventh grade, I had this one dress that I absolutely loved, and I remember the first time I ever wore it, getting on the school bus and feeling so good. And I feel like, man, I have not had that feeling very often.

[00:22:45] Shanenn Bryant: In a very long time about just like I'm dressed and I, and I really feel good. Not necessarily about the clothes. I mean, of course it was a cute dress and all those things, but I just felt good and I think a lot of women experienced that. It's like it has been a long time since I've

[00:23:04] Jessica Papineau: Yeah.

[00:23:05] Shanenn Bryant: dressed up, got myself ready, went somewhere and really felt good, and I think it's important.

[00:23:11] Jessica Papineau: It is, and you know, the what you, I love what you just said and what you described because. There are many women listening or watching right now who are thinking to themselves, oh my gosh, that's so true. if you think about when you had the most fun, right? Like even like in your adult life, like.

[00:23:32] Jessica Papineau: Oh, that party, it was so fun. Or I loved that wedding that we went to, or That was such a magical evening. Think about how you felt about how you looked that night and guaranteed you felt amazing in what you had on and therefore you had a great time.

[00:23:49] Shanenn Bryant: Right.

[00:23:50] Jessica Papineau: That's not superficial. It just is what it is.

[00:23:54] Shanenn Bryant: Hmm.

[00:23:55] Jessica Papineau: just the way it is for, for women mostly. I'm not saying not not for men, but more for women for sure.

[00:24:01] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah. Yeah. okay, so we've done it. We know now you kind of have this vision of how you think or what would look good on this? What would make them feel good? where do you go from there?

[00:24:17] Jessica Papineau: Then you walk into the closet with this new,

[00:24:20] Shanenn Bryant: fun.

[00:24:20] Jessica Papineau: WIth this new mindset. You walk in, and this is the point where we really dive into assessing and eliminating the pieces from the wardrobe that are no longer serving. The lifestyle you once had, or perhaps even the lifestyle you have now, if you have a different direction to go into.

[00:24:45] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-Hmm. 

[00:24:46] Jessica Papineau: the formula that I use, this is where we get into the Fs,

[00:24:51] Shanenn Bryant: Oh

[00:24:51] Jessica Papineau: not bad words, I promise.Fit fabric, fashion, And really, it's very, it can seem so overwhelming to walk in your, in your closet and know what do I let go?

[00:25:05] Jessica Papineau: What do I keep? How do I know? It's very simple. Fit. Does it fit you? It is, it seems like a pretty simple question, but I walk in so many women's closets and they have typically about 10 to 12 pair of jeans that don't fit. They don't fit. They're like one size to five sizes, two small, and you may ask why would someone do that, but I think you may know the answer.

[00:25:36] Jessica Papineau: I will fit into these one day.

[00:25:39] Shanenn Bryant: One day.

[00:25:40] Jessica Papineau: I will fit into them one day. And what are you telling yourself when you say that? And you look at those, those skinny, those jeans that are way too skinny for you and they don't fit, and you walk in every day and you know they're there. They're in, they're on the shelf in the corner, you can see them out of the corner of your eye. How does that make you feel?

[00:25:59] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah. Yeah. Well, Jessica, I have at least taken mine downstairs. 

[00:26:04] Jessica Papineau: Okay. Okay. That's that. I am, I'm happy to hear that because it definitely should be out of your immediate space. No, I tell people if they have to keep them, just put them in a bin in another room, at because your body's shaming yourself. You're saying you're not good enough, like you haven't lost the weight yet.

[00:26:23] Jessica Papineau: What's wrong with you? That's what you inside. That's what you're telling yourself. And then you're looking outside and you're going out, you know, you're in the store, whatever, and you're looking at some other girl in her jeans and you're going, that's what I wanna look like in those jeans.

[00:26:38] Shanenn Bryant: Right. Yeah. That so true. I had not thought about what it's, what you're telling yourself by keeping those in there. Because I think a lot of women think it's motivation, you know, They it, that's gonna be motivation. Right. But really it, you're saying it's doing the opposite.

[00:26:55] Jessica Papineau: Okay, so next is fabric. 

[00:26:59] Jessica Papineau: Fit in fabric are the two most important things. It really has to do with quality of fabric. So what's the difference between. A pair of designer denim and a pair of very inexpensive denim, they may look the same.

[00:27:19] Jessica Papineau: Right off the hanger. They may, you're like, why would this one be 200 and this one be 50, or It's, and so for example, with jeans, and I'm, I'm, I always use the example of jeans because pants are the most important thing. 

[00:27:34] Jessica Papineau: so with jeans, if you have a nice higher rise jean, that has like a 2% Lycra in it, that's made really well. What that's going to do when you put it on, if it's in the right size, because most women wear their jeans a size too big.and the reason why they do that is they don't know about the gene test and the gene test.

[00:27:58] Jessica Papineau: I'll just get into that real quick 'cause everyone's gonna wanna know this. test, the test is, you need to put you, when you put them on and you, and you go to do them up, you have to like breathe in a little bit to actually button them. Not a lot, not like laying on the bed. I mean, I've done, I used to do, I used to do that, you know, way back and there was no stretch in the jeans then they were so uncomfortable.

[00:28:27] Jessica Papineau: but you should have to, 'cause most of the jeans have that 2% Lycra, so that Lycra, it's gonna be tight right when you first put it on. So you should have to, you know, have to breathe in. You do 'em up. You look in the mirror, you look behind in the mirror and you should have, they call 'em smile lines.

[00:28:46] Jessica Papineau: You should have like two to three smile lines and that's just under your butt. You know those lines.

[00:28:51] Shanenn Bryant: Yes,

[00:28:53] Jessica Papineau: those should be there.

[00:28:55] Shanenn Bryant: should be

[00:28:56] Jessica Papineau: Should be there. Okay, now wait a minute. You should be able to breathe. It's not like breathing is 

[00:29:01] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah. 

[00:29:03] Jessica Papineau: and you want to keep those pants on for at least 20 minutes. And so in a fitting room, for example.

[00:29:11] Jessica Papineau: The reason why women are buying the wrong size is because they bring a stack in the fitting room, which you should do, but they bring a stack in there and they're different sizes, and they put 'em on. Take 'em off, put 'em on, take 'em off, put 'em on. Take 'em off. Don't do that. You keep 'em on. You try on tops.

[00:29:29] Jessica Papineau: You should have a muffin top when you put the jeans on, you should, because what, what happens? The reason is that you, you need your body heat to heat up that elastin, that fabric. Once your body heat heats that up, it smooths right it, it relaxes, it smooths, and then it's doing its job when it's the right size.

[00:29:51] Jessica Papineau: It's smoothing, it's lifting, it's doing all the things we want it to do. And that's when you're wearing something fitted that like feels good, and then you can put the top on and instead of wearing the top out because you, maybe you're hiding midsection, which is what many of I see that happen often. instead of doing that, you could either fully tuck your top or you could simply do a little front tuck.

[00:30:21] Jessica Papineau: Then let the sides kind of go down, and yes, that's gonna highlight your stomach, but it's gonna be showing, it's gonna, I don't wanna say highlight, it's gonna be revealing your stomach. But what's gonna happen is that because of the way that you're wearing your top and because of the fact that the fabric is great, you're gonna be creating an arrow to the smallest part of your waist.

[00:30:46] Jessica Papineau: And so it's just gonna be body skimming and that when I can show women that, and we always do it with jeans, I always start with jeans and a T-shirt. The most basic, when she can look in the mirror and see that she can wear jeans that are tight and she can tuck her top in and she's like, what? I never thought I could do that.

[00:31:09] Shanenn Bryant: so much. Good information about the jeans test and how we are trying things on, I'm gonna take three different sizes in, of all six pairs of these that I think might look good and we're just running through 'em like, oh, nope, these don't feel comfortable. Nope, these don't feel comfortable. But the important thing, and I think that you were trying to point out too, is it that test that you were talking about and them kind of loosening up and smoothing out. Those are high quality gene or higher quality jeans are gonna do that are not so high quality jeans probably are not gonna lend that. So it makes more sense, like if you're gonna buy a pair of jeans, spend a little bit of money so that you can get the pair that that fit. The fabric's great. The quality is great, and you're gonna feel great.

[00:31:56] Jessica Papineau: Exactly. Exactly. I don't have women buying inexpensive clothes.you know, not to say that, you know, the really young girls before their bodies change and everything's still like tight and hard and all the things they can go get the fast fashion cheap clothes.

[00:32:13] Jessica Papineau: It's fine, it works. They can go to the bar and wreck 'em and do all the things and they still look cute. 

[00:32:18] Shanenn Bryant: Right. I was gonna say, it's a new outfit, you know, in my twenties, a new outfit every Friday and Saturday night. New outfit. New outfit, new outfit

[00:32:26] Jessica Papineau: Exactly. I know, I 

[00:32:28] Shanenn Bryant: and all crap. Right?

[00:32:29] Jessica Papineau: Yes, 

[00:32:30] Shanenn Bryant: All they're gonna, if I wash 'em once, well, there you go.

[00:32:33] Jessica Papineau: Exactly. And that's the other thing with fabric. So I mean, there's some of the obvious things when you're eliminating, it's like, oh yeah, I can tell it has pills on it, it's been over washed. You know, all of those kind of typical things. But when I made mention to the CRA. So a lot of fabrics have Lycra in it, not just jeans.

[00:32:53] Jessica Papineau: So if you take a top for example, even a T-shirt, most T-shirts now have the elastin in there. If you take the T-shirt and you're like, I don't know, like I've had it for a while, is it still good? And you go, you know, you pull the fabric apart and if it's like, if it crunches, I know this sounds weird.

[00:33:13] Shanenn Bryant: Oh yes.

[00:33:14] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, it 

[00:33:14] Jessica Papineau: You know that feeling like when you do that and you're like, oh, why did it do that? Did 

[00:33:18] Jessica Papineau: I like, 

[00:33:19] Shanenn Bryant: is.

[00:33:20] Jessica Papineau: Yeah, it's been washed too many times. It's probably been put in the dryer too. So the, the, you know, the heat from the dryer over time is broken down, all those fibers, so you might put the top on and say, yeah, it fits me, but the fabric is compromised.

[00:33:38] Jessica Papineau: so that's another really important one. And then of course the last one, fashion. 

[00:33:44] Jessica Papineau: So I had made mention before about cake and icing. Well, there's core wardrobe pieces, which are your classics, right?

[00:33:52] Jessica Papineau: Like your black blazer, your black pant, your little black dress, your white T-shirt, your jeans, your, you know, cream silk blouse. all those, basic pieces.typically those are gonna carry you season to season, right? They don't go outta date very often. I mean, obviously over time fabrics have changed.

[00:34:11] Jessica Papineau: You know, it, it over wears and with a classic piece, usually by the time, you know, it usually wears out before it's outta style. So that's something to really keep in mind. So you wanna be cognizant of that when you're looking through your wardrobe. Now, say you have a blazer and you're like, I don't know, can I still wear double breasted?

[00:34:30] Jessica Papineau: Or is this in, or you're not quite sure. Take those pieces and just quickly look it up. I mean, we have social media. Um, you can Google it and, you know, and find out from a reputable source.

[00:34:42] Jessica Papineau: So then the other piece is. Does it align with my lifestyle or where my life is headed? So say for example, you are getting into, back into the work workforce after being home with your kids for seven years, which is, that's something I did. I, I was home with the kids for a while and you have an abundance of like, you didn't really take care of yourself for a while.

[00:35:05] Jessica Papineau: You have all like workout stuff, you have old t-shirts, whatever your. Your wardrobe shouldn't be mostly made up of those things if you're going into the workforce, right? So, you know, you wanna kind of take inventory of what you have and make a list of what's needed to plug in. And this is where we go into

[00:35:26] Jessica Papineau: customizing and curating wardrobe that is just for your lifestyle, the one that you're gonna stepping into. And so really being strategic about purchasing those core pieces to align with what you're doing, right.

[00:35:40] Jessica Papineau: And then from there, icing on the cake. Do not skip the little things like. Belts and some people tell me they will never wear a belt, and I make everybody wear a belt, by the way.

[00:35:54] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, see, I'm not a belt

[00:35:56] Jessica Papineau: Oh, you'll be, once we start working together, the jewelry, even like a pair of earrings and one little necklace, it, that's how you round out an outfit.

[00:36:08] Jessica Papineau: And it also shows you're also telling yourself like that those little things matter that you're worth putting your, putting, you know, investing in yourself, investing in a wardrobe. You're taking the time each day to do all those little details so that you can look in the mirror and, and feel so good about how you look and know you're gonna walk into your day in your power as the best version of yourself, and there's no comparison happening. When you feel that way, it just disappears.

[00:36:40] Shanenn Bryant: Oh my gosh, so much good information. I knew it was gonna be so good. Is there anything else, Jessica, that you wanna share with someone to say, Hey, this is something that they can do right away to Kickstart, or anything you wanna share?

[00:36:58] Jessica Papineau: Well, first of all, every woman deserves to feel amazing and feel beautiful. So take a moment. Everyone listening to let that sink in because you are worthy of it. However you wanna begin that, you know, maybe you're not exactly at the point where you're like, I'm ready to work with a stylist. Maybe you're not there yet. There's some actionable steps that you can take today. 

[00:37:23] Jessica Papineau: there'll be a link here for my free wardrobe edit blueprint, and this highlights Some of the things that we talked about as far as,editing and eliminating the pieces from your wardrobe that aren't serving you, and the guideline for how to do that 

[00:37:37] Jessica Papineau: anyone that has interest in what it is that, that I do and how they can begin working with me or what that may look like, there's a link here for a free styling call. So I would highly recommend that you take me up on that. 

[00:37:51] Shanenn Bryant: Awesome. Well Jessica, thank you so much for being on Top Self you really have opened, I think, people's eyes to this whole comparison thing and how do I shift my mindset a little bit out of it, and some great styling tip. So thank you so much. It was great to have 

[00:38:10] Jessica Papineau: Shanenn. Thank you so much for having me. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

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